There is an old man who works in a Turkish kebab shop on the street that I walk up and down most days. Sometimes, he looks busy and other times, he appears bored. He’s looking out the window, at all the people passing, and our eyes meet for half a second. It’s only when I’m already gone when I wonder if I remembered to smile.
(more…)Author: Kazandra Pangilinan
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Dead Christmas Trees
One of the saddest sights to see is dead Christmas trees abandoned on the side of the road. Last year, when I was finally able to leave my room and go out to explore after ten days in quarantine, dead Christmas trees were one of the first sights to greet me. No longer standing upright and no longer full of bright lights and colourful baubles, they looked lonely and dejected in their nakedness. It’s a very depressing thing to see.
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Sunsets
There is something that I think everybody loves, at least a little bit, and that is a sunset. Some of us purposely take time out of our days to watch it. Others are lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. Sunsets are cherished images in love songs and puzzles and travel photos and maybe even pictures taken in the city you grew up in.
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November
Halloween is over but it is not yet the festive season. People who were excited about autumn are already looking forward to whatever comes next. November is like the nothing time between Christmas and New Years when you don’t know what to do with yourself except wait for the next thing to happen. It’s a time for tapping your fingers on the desk and staring at the rain falling on the window, waiting for a miracle.
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On Pretending to Be Somebody Else
Everybody is planning costumes and dressing up and pretending to be somebody else. I am too. For the first time in years, I actually have a Halloween party to go to. I bought a blue wig which I probably will not end up wearing for very long because it will probably be very itchy.
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Chimney Smoke
It’s the time of the year where it’s possible to smell chimney smoke again. Last week, when I was in Glencoe, I looked out the window and saw a row of white houses set against a backdrop of rolling hills, chimney smoke rising into the air. Everything felt warmer after that.
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Wistful Weather
Fall is the most wistful season and fall walks are the most wistful walks. In movies, there are always montages of people walking through parks or past their old highschool, thinking about childhood or reminiscing about old loves during fall. If spring is the season of new life then fall is definitely about the past.
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Skies and Sadness
One time, when I was very sad, I saw a picture of the sky that someone posted on Instagram and wondered how it was possible for people to be happy and post beautiful pictures of nature when I felt the worst I had ever felt. I wanted to look at the sky and feel like maybe life wasn’t so bad. Maybe it mostly isn’t – but it took a long time to remember all the reasons why.
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Things I Learned Growing Up 