It snowed today. Although the familiar feeling of coziness returned, as I sat at my desk sipping coffee and writing, I began to feel a little bit unsettled. I was thinking about the new job I get to go to tomorrow and everything that February holds in store. (more…)
Author: Kazandra Pangilinan
-
This Morning and Tonight
This morning the moon was crescent, shining brilliantly in the hazy, dark blue morning sky. It hung above me as I walked to the bus stop and I remember looking at it and feeling happy. Everything was quiet. There I was, in this sleepy little neighbourhood, silently walking between houses. I could see my breath; my hands were cold. And it all seemed so mystical, somehow, like I was living the story of a character in a book. I was in love with everything- the empty streets, the abandoned cars, the starless sky. I quickened my pace, hurrying to catch my bus. Then I put on my gloves. “One day, I won’t have to commute,” I promised myself.
(more…) -
At Least for Now
January is half-way done and I’m not sure how to describe the place I’m in. I suppose it would be best to say, I’m in the same place I’ve always been, floating somewhere between different wants, different lives, different worlds…all the while, not being where I want to be. (more…)
-
Winter Sunlight
I think winter sunlight, particularly in the morning, is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It’s shining through my bedroom window right now, casting the thin-beamed shadows of my blinds upon the wall, and it feels calming, somehow…as though life is moving slowly (more…)
-
The Past is Like a Red Balloon
The happy curtain of my childhood has drawn to a close and I feel as though it didn’t even let me catch one fleeting glimpse of me and my sisters playing in the window before shutting completely. (more…)
-
When Your Older Sister Moves Out
We dropped my older sister off at her new apartment after dinner. I tried to imagine what she felt like but I couldn’t. She must feel so free and happy…but maybe a little sad as well. I tried to imagine buying furniture and being dropped off and closing the door as my parents walked away. (more…)
-
Change and Time
Journal Entry November 23, 2015
As usual, the first day of the month has caught me by surprise. I distinctively remember the 1st of August and wondering where July went. I suppose it went into scorching hot mornings, and late summer evenings drinking white wine, and playing board games with the boys, and scampering about unknown cities. (more…)
-
Looking at the Moon
Gastown reminds me of Europe because of its cobble stone roads, brick buildings, and pretty alley ways. I know it isn’t Europe but I sometimes like to pretend that it is. As I walked through it one time, I started thinking about why I sometimes prefer old things to new things. (more…)
-
How I Felt on My Last Day Being 21
Today is a sad day for me because it is the last day I will ever able to say that I am 21. I had 365 days and now they’re over and done with, and never coming back. For some reason, when I think about it that way, it makes me incredibly sad and wistful and leaves me wishing that I could go back and get those 365 days back. (more…)
Things I Learned Growing Up 